Birthday Gift Quest
I searched my kingdom over
including my castle, too
For that "just right" gift
I could send along to you
A gift that would make you smile
if only for today
One that could chase the blues
and any dark clouds away
I said to my questing self,
"Self, find something snappy
That is sure to promote
a state of feeling happy
Search inside every forest
Look behind every tree
Leave no stone uncovered
that might be hiding some glee
The gift must not be boring
but must, like a bell ring
Cause the feet to start tapping
and compel the heart to sing
Now, Self, don't you even dare
give up until it's found!
Surely, that 'just right' gift
is somewhere hanging 'round."
So, off I went, in a quest to find it
even unto the highest mountain
Looking over, under, through
around and even behind it
But, alas, it was not there
Oh me, oh my....what could I do?
"I know!" I told myself,
"I will search the ocean, too!"
So, I traveled on, day after day,
mile after exhausting mile
Quite determined was I to find...
just one thing to make you smile
But, after I reached the seashore
There was nothing there but sand
a bunch of dried, dead jellyfish
and broken shells which only cut my hand
I looked out over the ocean waves
contemplating the depth of the sea
Convincing myself it must be there
So, off I swam. Oh, stupid, stupid me!
All I got was out of breath
and a blasted sunburn to boot
And did I tell you 'bout the sharks?
Well, they're anything but cute! :-O
But, my friend, it was worth it
I didn't need that ol' leg anyway
That's why God gave us two of 'em
So, don't you even fret about that...okay?
After the surgeons sewed me up
I bought an artificial limb
Took me months to learn to use it
But I got back on my feet again
Yeehaw! It was off to the races
in search of that blessed gift of yours
But, I gave up on searching the ocean
setting my sights on more solid shores
I chanced upon a secluded cave
hidden by trees inside a hill
"Aha! This has got to be the place
where your gift lay. Oh, what a thrill!"
So what, if it was too dark to see
or that I did not bring a torch along
Surely, I could find the gift by touch
telling myself, "Self, this shouldn't take long!"
So, into that dank cave, I hobbled
anticipating the treasures which lay inside
Did you know bats hang out in them things...
thousands of 'em swarmin' my hide? :-O
Yep! They got hung up in my hair
almost knocking my crown from m'head
Did I say it shouldn't take long?...Well, I lied
I didn't know if I'd walk out alive or dead.
But, not to worry, my friend,
'Cause I fought those bats tooth and nail
reciting poetry 'til they begged me to stop.
But I kept going, "I will not falter! I will not fail!"
Ahh! 'Twas a sweet victory indeed
watching 'em fall from words rolling off my tongue
Sweet, that is, until the ceiling fell in
trapping me inside :-( Oh, what had I done?!
But, luckily for me...and you, a birdie flew in
and started chipping away at those rocks
"Oh, what a nice surprise!" I said, so relieved,
because I forgot to bring extra socks. :-O
Once I was finally free, I went lickity-split
back to my chambers, back to my castle home
kissed and hugged my waiting dog, Toto,
promising him, "Never more will I roam!"
For there's no place like home, you see
and the greatest gifts can be found there.
The one I had searched so long and hard for
was still rolled up in my long john underwear
It was the only way I could keep it safe
'til I found that 'just right' someone to give it to
No one would ever dare look for it there
especially since the temperature is now 92
So, here it is, my friend...especially for you
a special gift that is sure to make you smile
Wasn't it Arnold what's his butt who once said,
"I'll be back!"..? Well, here I am, but with a new style!
Gee, methinks you have a special delivery.
See that lil birdie near the bottom of the page?
Welllll...you know what to do!