Birthday Gift Quest I searched my kingdom over including my castle, too For that "just right" gift I could send along to you A gift that would make you smile if only for today One that could chase the blues and any dark clouds away I said to my questing self, "Self, find something snappy That is sure to promote a state of feeling happy Search inside every forest Look behind every tree Leave no stone uncovered that might be hiding some glee The gift must not be boring but must, like a bell ring Cause the feet to start tapping and compel the heart to sing Now, Self, don't you even dare give up until it's found! Surely, that 'just right' gift is somewhere hanging 'round." So, off I went, in a quest to find it even unto the highest mountain Looking over, under, through around and even behind it But, alas, it was not there Oh me, oh my....what could I do? "I know!" I told myself, "I will search the ocean, too!" So, I traveled on, day after day, mile after exhausting mile Quite determined was I to find... just one thing to make you smile But, after I reached the seashore There was nothing there but sand a bunch of dried, dead jellyfish and broken shells which only cut my hand I looked out over the ocean waves contemplating the depth of the sea Convincing myself it must be there So, off I swam. Oh, stupid, stupid me! All I got was out of breath and a blasted sunburn to boot And did I tell you 'bout the sharks? Well, they're anything but cute! :-O But, my friend, it was worth it I didn't need that ol' leg anyway That's why God gave us two of 'em So, don't you even fret about that...okay? After the surgeons sewed me up I bought an artificial limb Took me months to learn to use it But I got back on my feet again Yeehaw! It was off to the races in search of that blessed gift of yours But, I gave up on searching the ocean setting my sights on more solid shores I chanced upon a secluded cave hidden by trees inside a hill "Aha! This has got to be the place where your gift lay. Oh, what a thrill!" So what, if it was too dark to see or that I did not bring a torch along Surely, I could find the gift by touch telling myself, "Self, this shouldn't take long!" So, into that dank cave, I hobbled anticipating the treasures which lay inside Did you know bats hang out in them things... thousands of 'em swarmin' my hide? :-O Yep! They got hung up in my hair almost knocking my crown from m'head Did I say it shouldn't take long?...Well, I lied I didn't know if I'd walk out alive or dead. But, not to worry, my friend, 'Cause I fought those bats tooth and nail reciting poetry 'til they begged me to stop. But I kept going, "I will not falter! I will not fail!" Ahh! 'Twas a sweet victory indeed watching 'em fall from words rolling off my tongue Sweet, that is, until the ceiling fell in trapping me inside :-( Oh, what had I done?! But, luckily for me...and you, a birdie flew in and started chipping away at those rocks "Oh, what a nice surprise!" I said, so relieved, because I forgot to bring extra socks. :-O Once I was finally free, I went lickity-split back to my chambers, back to my castle home kissed and hugged my waiting dog, Toto, promising him, "Never more will I roam!" For there's no place like home, you see and the greatest gifts can be found there. The one I had searched so long and hard for was still rolled up in my long john underwear It was the only way I could keep it safe 'til I found that 'just right' someone to give it to No one would ever dare look for it there especially since the temperature is now 92 So, here it is, my friend...especially for you a special gift that is sure to make you smile Wasn't it Arnold what's his butt who once said, "I'll be back!"..? Well, here I am, but with a new style! ~*~ Gee, methinks you have a special delivery. See that lil birdie near the bottom of the page? Welllll...you know what to do! ~*~

Happy Birthday!