Having No Choice ©Nancy L. Meek 06-03-01 My finger was pulling the trigger having no choice but to do the deed faithful to my stripes and the will to survive sharing in his thoughts, "Him or me?" Perhaps he, too, is a number one son thrown into the fire, being tested and tried having no other choice hearing his mother's voice plaintively crying, "Come back to me alive!" Who would blame me for what I was doing for anyone else would do the same left alone to decide who would have to die him or me . . . God silent in the heat of the fray Then it was over . . . for that boy on the ground But for me, the battle had just begun having made the coice I could hear God's voice no longer silent in the heat of the dying sun Through conflict, He showed me what hate can do experiencing, face-to-face, the effects of war . . . how it could push me to kill challenging my very own will part of me dying . . . wondering what we're fighting for I was a long way from home, a long way from God fighting a battle in a land not my own surrounded by the fight on a hot, dark, somber night daggers of guilt tearing through me God! If I don't make it out of this mess I swear, the first thing I'm going to do is to find this boy I just killed and ask him how it felt "Who suffered the bullets worse . . . me or you?" Then after...I'm going to ask him (if I should even dare) to pardon me for I, in the heat of the hellfire was pushed swiftly to the wire with having no choice....Damn this quandry! Silent was God while I was still learning while trying to find my own way He had left me alone so I could learn on my own As He watched through the heat of the fray And I realized who this young boy really was looking up to heaven through silent eyes He was not my enemy He was just someone like me trying to make his way through flaming skies I wonder, sometimes, why his finger hesitated. Was he truly contemplating, "Him or me?" Did he have no choice, learning today that violence is never the way; that love is the answer in the quest for peace? E-mail Your Comments To: Lilripple@hotmail.com Click On Dove To Return Home!       Background Image: Compliments of the Department of Defense Thank You For Stopping By!